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 Post subject: Re: Joke Thread
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:17 pm
Posts: 2262
Location: Oakland, CA
emailed to me today:
One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...


Satan: "Why so glum?"
Biker : "What do you think?!? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. 'You a drinking man?"
Biker : "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink: whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Biker : "Gee that sounds great!"


Satan: "You a smoker?"
Biker : "You better believe it."
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Biker : "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Biker : "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good,'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."
Biker : "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"
Biker : "Are you kidding? 'Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is Drug Day...! Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead, so who cares."
Biker : "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"


Satan: "You gay?"
Biker : "No..."
Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough.....


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 Post subject: Re: Joke Thread
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:37 am
Posts: 5048
hehe


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 Post subject: Re: Joke Thread
 Post Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 5:33 pm
Posts: 1917
Location: Chandler
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 Post subject: Re: Joke Thread
 Post Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:10 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:27 pm
Posts: 12188
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks,
interviews And testing were done, there were 3
finalists; Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of The
men to a large metal door and handed Him a
gun.

'We must know that you will follow
your Instructions no matter what the
circumstances.

Inside the room you will find yourwife sitting
In a chair .... Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job.
Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room.
All was Quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my
wife.' The agent said, 'You don't Have what it takes.
Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn.

She was given the Same instructions, to kill
her husband. She took the Gun and went into the
room. Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming,
crashing, Banging on the walls.. After a few minutes, all was Quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her
brow.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.

'I had to kill him with the chair!


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